As I was rewriting my introduction for the eighteenth time, I couldn't stop thinking
''My skills in writing biological papers are severely lacking, I'm so bad at this''
and that can definitely be seen by comparing any article or paper I read to mine. However, with the thought circling round again and again, I decided to try reframing it.
I keep telling myself with every word I write, we all start somewhere.
Sometimes I forget the finished product I am reading in a highly acclaimed journal is probably the result of years of experience, failures, successes, tries, drafts and blank documents.
I suppose we all sometimes fall into the trap of 'I'm bad at this' and 'I can't do this' or 'I'm not good at this'. But I've also found that the trap can be broken if we try. It may be slow, but for me, I like using the word 'yet'.
'I can't do this.... yet' but I will be able to one day
'I'm not good at this... yet' but I will be
'I don't know... yet' but I will learn
Everyone reading this one day could barely put together a two syllable word, or take a step, or read the title of a book, or say a full sentence. One day, I thought I would never grasp capital letters. Those days may be over a decade behind me, and yet I have decades left to go. Could you imagine if you'd given up before?
I can bet that you reading this (yes, you!), have faced a time you thought something would never be possible, that you weren't good enough. I definitely have. And comparing ourselves to someone who has already surpassed us in one domain can be dejecting, and yet perhaps we can reframe it.
This person probably had the same feelings one day, this person probably can't do something that I can, this person also started somewhere. I may be lacking this skill, but if I told my self 5 years younger what I can do today, would they be proud?
I know I have so many more dreams of what I want to achieve, but to 5 year old me, she would be so proud, she would be so happy, she would be awe-struck- by what I've already achieved.
Perhaps next time you want to give up, or you feel not good enough, maybe try telling your younger self what you already can do?
Some other tips to reframe this that I found helpful:
- seek mentors in varying career stages- it's all well and good seeing role models so far ahead of you to strive for, but it can also be good having peers whose values you admire, younger mentees who remind you of why you started, to have slightly older but early career starters who can inspire you with concrete next steps. Surround yourself with people whose behaviors you wish to emulate. Don't make yourself a copy of anyone, not even an idol, but do try to consider whose opinion you value and try to speak to yourself as you think they'd advice you.
- listen to when those who are good at these skills talk about their past, I find panels on rejection or failure very helpful, seeing people who in naive rose-tinted glasses seemed all-knowing and all-capable talk about their past and current struggles can be validating and hope can grow that if they started like me then I could end up like them
- do non academic things or things you ace- I like doing art for the sake of it, crafts for kids (like building paper airplanes, colouring books), listening to songs, walking dogs, or going out with people and not talking at all about my work sometimes. Spend time cultivating varied interests and hobbies, even if you aren't good at any of them, just partaking in activities outside of your work can give you the reset and boost your brain needs, and my best ideas usually come when it's just me walking in the outdoors with a dog staring at rolling fields. You never know how good boredom, calm and peace can be.
- don't be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know), try saying (in front of a mirror can be hard but helpful) something you like about yourself each day, or something you are proud of. It can be small, no one else ever has to hear. Something like 'I love that I'm patient and kind with children and animals' or silly like 'I love that when I really enjoy a song I light up with happiness'. But if you always see your own shortcomings, approach it as what would the people you love say about you. You may hate something about yourself, like 'I hate that I am so emotional' but imagine what your best friend may think, like 'I love coming to you with any news because you show me it's okay to feel, and when I come with good news, you jump for joy and make me feel so happy and celebrated' or 'I hate my smile' could be the same smile that your family, friends, dogs and everyone else loves about you. So don't be too critical and be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
- You are human, you will fail and make mistakes. You will do something wrong, you will mess up, you will accidentally hurt someone, you will make a rash decision, you will regret things. And you will recover. You will get better. You will make amends. Because there is no one on Earth who hasn't done that, and won't continue to do that, every day, because being human isn't about being perfect, it's about working on your imperfections, accepting the imperfections of others, accepting yourself, and accepting that everyone is a mix of right and wrong choices, like a chef's salad, and everyone who tries to be better than they were yesterday is doing their best.
- don't neglect yourself, your best work will always happen when you are well rested, so block off time to work and time to rest and be equally strict with both. Your personal health and wellbeing should always come before academic or other commitments. Everyone takes their own path and you should always pause and take a breather because none of the best decisions happen when you are stressed or rushed (I promise!), and nothing is as much the 'end of the world' as it seems in the moment.
So, speaking of accepting imperfections, here is my finished introduction. I'm still not happy with it, and yet I don't think I will ever be. But I will try. And the first one will be bad, but my next paper introduction will be less bad, and who knows maybe one day I'll have a paper that can have an impact:
Copy and Paste: exploiting vaccine templates
Template Vaccination and the likelihood of narrow-use countermeasure exploitation in Biosecurity by malicious actors.
Keywords: Global Catastrophic Biorisk, Narrow scope countermeasures, broad scope, template vaccination, malicious actor biological threats, bioweaponry
Abstract:
The potential for template vaccines to be purposefully exploited by malicious threat actors as a premise in biosecurity is a vital consideration in how effective they may be as a broad scope countermeasure to biological threats and extinction risks from malicious, accidental or natural risks from biological agents.
Index:
Introduction
- What are GCBRs and biological risks
- Threat profile of malicious, accidental, natural and engineered biological agents
- Narrow vs Broad scope countermeasures
Template Vaccination
- Biological mechanism
- Current market
- Potential benefits
Cat and mouse defence
- Biosecurity threat actors
- Past exploitation
- Potential in template vaccination
- Copy and Paste
- Process of exploitation (overview due to information hazard concerns)
- Mitigation
Expert opinion
Conclusion
Introduction:
Biological threats- whether naturally occurring or human engineered- have existed as long as life itself. From tragically lethal global pandemics such as the Black Death (estimated death toll from 70-200 million), or current threats such as Malaria or recent emergences such as Sars-Cov-2, the mainstream view of pandemic protection is an idea of specific vaccination or medication efforts.
However, some threat profiles suggest that we cannot anticipate a particular pathogen as a potential existential risk in time, nor can we constantly generate specific protection measures for each candidate. The stance I am exploring is the proposed pathogen agnostic idea of broad scope vaccine templates that may be used irrespective of which communicable disease (or its origin) is spreading, to quickly prevent and mitigate infection. The idea of Global Catastrophic BioRisks (GCBRs, of civilization infrastructure or humanity having a poor chance of survival after an extreme event due to biological agents) being better reduced by these broad measures has been highly evidences in biosecurity circles, but is not the focus of media coverage or popular science strategies that deal more with specific agents.
A landscape of continually emerging threats that are either naturally, maliciously or accidentally released into human and animal populations can render specific efforts slow, costly and easily abused. For example, natural mutation of strains of Tuberculosis or Covid-19 can cause false negatives on binary testing, and vaccines for certain diseases can be evaded due to genetic shift or malicious engineering of the pathogen (such as H5N1 instances). The idea that narrow countermeasures also are an easily exploitable avenue for offensive weaponry can be mirrored in many strategies. For example, working on a specific mutational change for a known vaccine, working on a different pathogen once a select vaccine has been made for a previous bioweapon (such as Soviet bioweapon programs switching from Smallpox to Anthrax), or simply the time it takes to identify and recognise a new emergence when clinical symptom patterns of an already affected patient population is our metric for investigation.
Broad scope countermeasures instead attempt to deal with less easily exploited avenues, from the ‘science fiction esque’ idea of bunkers or surveillance systems, to the more mundane policy changes or technological advancements, the idea of attempting to create a social, scientific and medical environment resilient at identifying, preventing and mitigating any infectious agent has seemed like a distant dream for most of humanity.
However, with recent advances in many technologies, and empirical evidence in early trials pointing to its effectiveness, some traction has been gained in support for these measures. From physical interventions (that are harder to engineer evasion to) such as ventilation systems, sterilisation, or PPE, to systems of genomic sequencing in wastewater to establish spikes from baselines to identify novel pathogens or mutations rather than waiting for clinical evidence clusters, have already shown great promise in increasing speed, understanding and intensity of novel biological threat response.
However, the eye of vaccine organisations has been wandering towards the idea of a universal template vaccine as the best way to curb an outbreak and quickly build immunity to any agent. Instead of traditional vaccines that tend to favour heavy changes between agents that themselves are attenuated (weakened or killed) and uniquely made safe (with long trials), the focus has shifted to a ‘template’ of viral or bacterial genomic vectors that can then have antigens or instructions for antigens (antigens are like a signalling coat for any biological molecule and are what allows the immune system to identify threats) inserted in quick alterations to provide safe and speedy personalised and novel vaccines (without the need for specific trials for every alteration).
This has many benefits such as reduced response times between identifying a pathogen to providing immunity, a potential to provide personalised vaccines in areas with new mutations to prevent new strain spread, and even reduces risks of severe illness as the actual pathogen cannot cause illness, since only the signalling antigen is either inserted or coded for, and the body can respond without a fear of an active overpowerment.
The vector templates can also be premade and stockpiled, and seem an attractive option to reduce biological threats. However, template vaccines may have their own avenues of exploitation by threat actors that could potentially be more grave than any single narrow scope measure.