Hey, I'm sorry things have been feeling so bad!

Ultimately, I see the goal of EA as more good experiences and less suffering. When you have a day that's ok instead of awful, when you make music that gives you satisfaction, when you have a good lunch or a good nap or a good experience of any kind, that's a win. You're not just here to create achievements, you're here as a living being whose experiences matter.

I'd echo Dave that talking to somebody (beyond LLMs) seems like a good idea.
If you're not already getting medical/mental health care for depression, I'd strongly suggest that too. I think this overview by Scott Alexander is a good place to think through some options, or maybe skip to some recommended steps for treating depression.
Justis' piece If you're unhappy, consider leaving is worth a read for anybody who feels like they're not "succeeding" at EA.

I was in a conversation recently about how organizers usually don't have managers. A board member of a city group said to the organizer of that group, "Should we start having regular calls every few weeks?" and the organizer said "Yes please!" 
If you're an organizer with a board, or a board member of a group, consider if you should do regular management or accountability-buddy type calls!

I agree that separating out community posts was not just a reaction to the FTX situation. Early in CEA's time running the Forum, the community section was an entirely different page, as you can see in this 2019 Wayback capture.
 

Thanks for sharing this warning!

I'm really sorry you've been in such a difficult and painful space. I'm so glad you were able to recognize the way the LLM was pushing you, and step back from that.

For anyone who's struggling and needs a supportive listener, I'd instead suggest a helpline with real people, for example via https://befrienders.org/find-support-now

I'd be doing less good with my life if I hadn't heard of effective altruism

While I had a drive toward altruism, I think my efforts and donations would be directed to causes that were more random / more shaped by social environment and less by what might be best for the beneficiaries.

The relationship between liquor stores being open and crime rates is pretty clear. I don't know how much work has been done on changing hours when alcohol can be sold, but it seems worth exploring as a policy intervention.
Interrupted Time Series Analysis of Bar/Tavern Closing Hours and Violent Crime
Effectiveness of Policies Restricting Hours of Alcohol Sales in Preventing Excessive Alcohol Consumption and Related Harms
Alcohol availability and crime: Lessons from liberalized weekend sales restrictions

I admire how much work you've put in for steps that I don't think twice about, like traveling! Thank you for your dedication!

Ok, thanks, that does make it easier to follow the argument.

Whatever one's goals, I'd caution against taking quick micromort estimates literally. E.g. I think the "walking on public roads is bad for you" data only includes your risk of getting hit by a car, and doesn't include the health benefits of walking, nor that pedestrian deaths are disproportionately at night and the victims are often intoxicated. Daytime walking while sober is overall good for longevity.

I think this piece could be more effective if it more clearly spells out the relationship between human life expectancy, land use, and invertebrate welfare. E.g. when you say "I estimate it increases the welfare of humans, and soil nematodes, mites, and springtails by 10.5 k QALY/$" I'm having trouble understanding what the relationship is between humans eating a healthier diet and invertebrate welfare.