"not having norms" and "I failed to see the norms" would look very similar from the perspective of a socially clumsy actor.
I may be seeing things that don't exist, but generally the groups I belong to have really strong norms against dating. The pervasiveness of flirting (subversive, plausibly deniable way in which socially adept folks circumvent these norms) should be evidence towards this.
"not having norms" and "I failed to see the norms" would look very similar from the perspective of a socially clumsy actor.
I may be seeing things that don't exist, but generally the groups I belong to have really strong norms against dating. The pervasiveness of flirting (subversive, plausibly deniable way in which socially adept folks circumvent these norms) should be evidence towards this.