Comments
Thanks Tom and greetings to everybody here at EA.. i'm really amazed that there could ever be a group that holds such values.. values that represents the best of us as human.. i'm Wei Lun, an undergraduate living in Singapore who has had the opportunity to challenge myself at some of the high stakes level.. and that has shaped my core belief of how human lives should be.. as unbelievably as thisseems.. i feel and love people tremendously.. to the point that i have embarked on a career path to eventual large scale value creation to positively impact people's life through ventures which i believe can disrupt industries (i work in a acquisition intermediary capacity ). I have long wanted to go to places which holds such values and beliefs.. and Canada was where i felt could embrace such principles.. and as such.. i have started some initiatives which i hope could eventually allow mw to get there.. it's an amazing piece.. aarongertler made a good point about the emotional force.. but i will think the poetry's abstraction was a perfect touch to put us to feel through other's capacity.. thank you all very much for showing me that what i always believed in has a place in this world.. i would love to chat and hear about some of your beliefs and experiences..
Wei Lun
Feedback: I love the idea behind the piece, since it very closely tracks with what motivated me to join the EA movement in the first place. Other art I've found that makes use of the same idea: This essay by Julia Wise and the film Life in a Day. I hope you'll keep thinking about and writing on similar topics; I want to see more work on the sheer emotional force of effective altruism.
As for the piece itself: I liked the progression of ideas and the sharing incentives at the end, but I found the language to be a little too abstract and poetic to follow in some places. I'm also wary about the phrase "our women"; I understand it to mean "the women who belong to our species, the human species", but paired with "our children" it adds an accidental hint of patriarchy.
Thanks for the feedback and the links. I'll check them out. I'm likely guilty here of overly poetic language and I should keep it in check so that it doesn't distract from the message. Your point about my language: 'our women', is worth some thought on my part and I'll give it that.
Your comments were sincerely appreciated. Thanks for taking the time.