I am not the original poster; cross-posting because I thought it could be useful feedback.
"Hello, this is a bit of a rant about my personal experience with my local EA group.
I've been showing up to my local EA group for about a year because the core principles resonate with me (effectiveness, the intrinsic value of life, etc.), but I haven't been able to build trust with these folks.
Don't get me wrong, there are friendly members of course. However, I've found the "core" members to be quite unfriendly. They all know each other, and I've found it very difficult to feel part of their group.
I find that a lot of what I say is met with dismissiveness and elitist attitudes. It is really exhausting when every conversation quickly becomes an impersonal philosophical debate about morality.
Sometimes when I talk to these folks I start doubting myself, asking questions like "Why are they so hostile towards me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I dumb? Am I unfriendly? Am I a bad person?" However, there is plenty of evidence from other aspects of my life demonstrating that I'm a reasonable person.
I'm afraid that showing up to local EA meetups is ruining my perceptions towards effectiveness and altruism. It just isn't an enjoyable vibe. I took a friend with me to the meetup once and following the meetup he quite earnestly said "I felt incredibly unwelcomed."
I went to EAG and that was great. I met some amazing people who I've kept in touch with and it showed me that the wider EA community isn't as hostile as the local group in my city. Does anyone else feel this unfriendly vibe with their local group(s)? Are some local groups doing more damage to altruism than good?"