I recently read a blog post that concluded with:
When I'm on my deathbed, I won't look back at my life and wish I had worked harder. I'll look back and wish I spent more time with the people I loved.
Setting aside that some people don't have the economic breathing room to make this kind of tradeoff, what jumps out at me is the implication that you're not working on something important that you'll endorse in retrospect. I don't think the author is envisioning directly valuable work (reducing risk from international conflict, pandemics, or AI-supported totalitarianism; improving humanity's treatment of animals; fighting global poverty) or the undervalued less direct approach of earning money and donating it to enable others to work on pressing problems.
Definitely spend time with your friends, family, and those you love. Don't work to the exclusion of everything else that matters in your life. But if your tens of thousands of hours at work aren't something you expect to look back on with pride, consider whether there's something else you could be doing professionally that you could feel good about.
Strongly agree with this well-articulated point.
Sometimes friends ask me why I work so hard, and I don't know how to get them to understand that it's because I believe that it matters — and the fact that they don't believe that about their work is maybe a sign they should do something else.
A Forum post can be short. What a great ratio of punch per word.
@Julia_Wise🔸 gets credit for this! My draft had two paragraphs for "Setting aside that some people don't have the economic breathing room to make this kind of tradeoff".
Rob Wiblin interviewed nuclear‑war planner‑turned‑whistle‑blower Daniel Ellsberg, five years before he died. Here's a quote from the interview:
You can even take this further and question why the person on their deathbed doesn't feel proud of the work they chose to do. Maybe they feel ashamed of their actual preferences and don't need to. Or maybe they aren't taking to heart the tradeoff in interests between the experiencing self and the remembering self.
I like this post a lot. I often use "regret minimisation" as a frame when making important decisions, which feels quite similar to "doing things you would endorse on your deathbed".
I didn't realise this, but apparently "regret minimisation" was popularised by Jeff Bezos, and this is literally how Jeff describes it. I guess it's a very natural concept and this name is pretty descriptive.
https://www.fastcompany.com/90662406/jeff-bezos-uses-a-simple-framework-for-making-big-decisions-heres-how-it-works
Daniel Pinks The Power of Regret also dives into this. The book might only be a less punchy way of saying what this post says. But maybe also a good motivational book for someone headed towards regret.
And the webpage for gathering peoples regrets is a fun idea - although it doesnt say anything about whether they have put all this data to use.
https://worldregretsurvey.com
Thanks for writing this. I've told other people this in the past.
Thanks for this – it’s a thoughtful reminder that "work" and "meaning" don’t have to be mutually exclusive. As an occupational health epidemiologist, I often think about how much of our lives are spent at work, and how both the content of that work and the conditions we work under shape well-being, identity, and long-term health. I agree that time with loved ones matters enormously – but I also think there's something life-affirming about doing work that contributes to systemic change, whether that’s protecting people’s health today or reducing the risk of catastrophic harms to humanity in the future.
I read this on the morning of a sunny national holiday that I spent indoors, typing away as usual, and I came back to it three times, it really resonates. I might even translate it in French, crediting you (if that's alright) and share it with acquaintances (or simply paraphrase it) next time they seem confused or worried by me choosing to make work my main focus in life. I really like the last sentence in particular.
Hey @JoA🔸 , I was considering having a translation (maybe adapted to our cultural context) on EA France's website, if @Jeff Kaufman 🔸 is giving us his blessing :)
Sure!
@Jeff Kaufman 🔸 I would like to do the same for EA Norway - I take it thats fine?
Sure!
Don't work to the exclusion of everything else that matters in your life. Apt!
why is this downvoted??
"...some people don't have the economic breathing room to make this kind of tradeoff.." Yup, the joy of doing something you love means living for something bigger than self, and something that impacts humanity, however small, is a natural high. Literally and figuratively, some of us don't have the luxury - the economic breathing room to make this kind of tradeoff. The future of work impacted me very early before AI's fangs.